Sunday, 12 May 2013

I hate it when I'm right...

No I don't. I actually enjoy being right like the rest of us really. But today I wish I wasn't right. 

As I mentioned before, today was the family fun-run and we took part in the knowle lion's bid to raise money for great causes. 

However, I decided in my infinite wisdom to run in old tennis shoes instead of the expensive running shoes I have, due to the fact I was too lazy to look for them. 

"Surely they weren't too bad?" I hear you say. Well you would be wrong. 

Those of a nervous disposition please look away now ...


That is one of the matching blisters I am currently harbouring on each of my feet. 

Note to self: never go running again!

It's my opinion that....

It seems to me that anything with the label 'fun' attached to it is in fact the very opposite. 

'Fun-houses' - aka carnivals and mops are actually just dangerously poor machinery run by questionable people who no doubt appear on certain legal registers. 

'Fun-sized' chocolate bars are a piss-poor advertising campaign by the big brands to make me happy with the fact I am getting half the usual amount of chocolate. Pathetic. 

But what is really driving me to write this blog is the fact I am due to take part in an annual family 'fun-run' today. There is nothing fun (for me at least) about running and doing 5 miles constantly is even less fun.'s a tradition in the family and it must be unquestionable upheld...

Saturday, 11 May 2013

The thing about Shakespeare is...

Firstly, this is not me slagging off Shakespeare. It has become trendy to knock Shakespeare. I am not one of the knockers, generally.

From my experience working in a school, trying to enthuse teenagers about Romeo and Juliet, nobody seems to like Shakespeare. For the most part I would say those that don't like, don't have the intelligence to appreciate his genius. And I'm not a huge fan of his but I can respect talent.

That being said, I don't like worshipping things just because they are difficult to do. I had a deep discussion with a teacher about how his work was so impressive because he constantly wrote in Iambic Pentameter (which for the normal people who don't care about pompous phrases like that is: pairing ten syllables on a line of text, into five pairs.) If you crack open any Shakespeare play you will most likely find this and whilst it is difficult to do it is not something worthwhile on it's own.

Surely that is not a reason to celebrate the works of Shakespeare. Rejoice in the way he controlled language or whatever but conforming your writing to strict rules for no reason seems restrictive at best and arrogant at worst.

I could develop a technique of writing my stories whilst simultaneously humming and doing a headstand. It wouldn't make my work good - it just makes me weird.

So, yes Shakespeare is amazing but he is for the words he writes, not the STUPID rules he may self-enforce upon his plays.

The First of Many...

I guess it seems apt to start my debut post with a bit of a 'hello' really. So...Hi!

My name is Chris and for want of more mellifluous phrasing, I want to write. All the time. Not just blogging here, although I can already see how addictive it may become. But, I want to write professionally. I'm not tied down to a specific format at the moment, but in my current mental climate, I want to write books.

It is something that has fascinated me for as long as I can remember, really. Why books? I don't know really. I think it's the discipline which entices me, at least on the surface. Anyone can write a script or poem that you would struggle to stretch over a few thin sheets of A4, but how many people have the concentration to write a detailed novel. Well...according to the millions of published authors around the world, apparently quite a few do but I want to be one of them. And believe it or not I've done the hard bit.

My blogging journey begins at a crossroad (or T-junction) in my life. I am 23 years old and if you cannot tell (and there would be no reason to, just by the tone of this blog) I am male. 23 seems a decent age to begin my writing career. I am old enough to hopefully be taken seriously, but young enough to recover from the inevitable knock-backs I'm going to receive. Writing is a tough game and if I want to last in it, I'm going to have to toughen up a bit.

So we move on to what I want to write. I have recently finished my debut novel, which I am tentatively calling 'Finding Emma'. Yes I realise there was a popular children's film called 'Finding Nemo' but surely there is enough within the plots to distinguish the two? Seeing as no one has read it yet I'll answer for you...yes there is!

Over the next few weeks (and possible months) I am going to take the steps needed to prepare this manuscript for its unveiling on the Kindle Store. I say 'unveiling' which seems to imply people are waiting to read it. As of now they are not, but fingers crossed that will soon change.

Expect to hear more from me...Chris

PS - I envisage building a friendly environment online here to discuss the book and other things with like-minded individuals. I want blogging to be a fun experience and welcome any feedback as I provide details and segments of the book. However...I am well aware of how some people like to knock and sneer at other people for no reason except that it makes them feel big or important somehow. Please don't waste my time doing it here. I fully understand that these sorts of people are usually compensating for a lack of some sort of phallic prowess but (in the nicest possible way) just DO ONE! (I realise that if I want to be an author I should probably come up with a better way of insulting someone. I'll get back to you on that!)